Salsa Confusion
by Phoenix-Flower92
Summary: Draco tries chips and salsa with Blaise. He discovers that the mild salsa is way too hot, but perhaps it is Blaise's fault...it WANTS to be slash. And you could pretend that it is if you try really hard...Lol.


**A/N: **_I came up with this after eating at Moe's, where my little brother tried the hottest salsa, and drank too much tea so his mouth would stop burning. He blamed the incident on my sister and me. It's a one- shot, and pure fluff. Enjoy_

* * *

"I'm starving!" the whiny, high-pitched voice echoed throughout the nearly empty, ice cold stone room.

Only two boys remained in the mansion-like Slytherin common room, as everyone else had scurried off to the Great Hall for dinner.

One of them, a tall, thin, and pale boy who appeared to have been locked in a dark closet all his life, had stayed back in fear of the crowded Great Hall and eating something he terribly disliked. He always happened to get stuck in the worst possible seating arrangement, despite his prince reputation, between the Bloody Baron and some horrible first year with a stench bad enough to make you gag. And as for the issue of eating a food he disagreed with, only one word did the trick: Mexican.

The sleek blonde had never actually tried many Mexican foods, but he knew he didn't like spicy things, and nearly everything Mexican made you gulp down your drink. He came from a proper family, and wouldn't dare go as far as to drain his glass and then beg for more. No, it wasn't him at all.

So he sat, stomach growling angrily, by the cozy fireplace, unaware of the concerned Hispanic boy only a few feet behind him. "Draco," the dark-complected boy spoke.

The thin blonde jumped from the sudden sound and quickly turned, wand raised from his reflexes. But when he saw who stood there, the wand was replaced in his robes just as quickly as it had been drawn.

"Zabini!" Draco Malfoy growled. "Why aren't you at dinner with the rest?"

The Hispanic laughed. "I could ask the same thing about you," he snapped slyly, striding over to the leather chair across from his friend and planting himself in it. "Why **AREN'T** you at dinner? I know you're starving. I heard your stomach growling, and then you said it yourself out loud to the room."

The blonde flushed deeply. " I thought I was the only one around!" he defended himself as his friend still chuckled.

"It's okay. I'm not going to tell anyone you talk to yourself."

I don't--"

"So why **ARE** you up here? You didn't go on one of those starvation diets, did you? You're already threatening to become underweight!"

"How'd you—never mind! No, I'm not on a starvation diet. But it's none of your business if I am, Zabini."

"So you admit it? You're starving yourself?" the rich-Hispanic accented boy questioned.

Draco Malfoy looked annoyed. "No! Didn't you just hear me? I'm not on that kind of diet! That's not why I'm here!"

"Why are you here then?"

"It's not worthy of your ears, Zabini! Just because we're friends doesn't mean I'm ready to get all personal with you and share my pitiful life story with you. Why don't you explain to me why you're here?"

"Maybe my life isn't worth your ears either!" Zabini shot stubbornly, but then, "I'm here because I already had a huge lunch.

The blonde nodded unhappily and crossed his arms. "I'm still not telling you," he scowled dangerously.

Normally he wouldn't be so cruel to his friend Blaise Zabini, but come on, he was hungry. Being hungry for a long period of a time can bring out the worst in everyone. Blaise Zabini, of course, seemed to realize this, "I'll come down to the Great Hall and eat with you, Draco, even though I'm full. It's Mexican, my fave, so I could handle a few chips and salsa. I just don't wanna see you starve."

" I hate Mexican!" Draco whined at his friend, who sat back offended at this.

"Why?" he pouted, his dark chocolate-brown eyes looking really sad.

"Because! I don't like spicy foods, Blaise! And I don't know what I'll like and what I won't! And I already know I don't fancy tortillas and salsa! And I don't wanna sit squished beside that stupid ghost again, okay?" he half-screamed.

Blaise suddenly sat up. "Draco—hello! I'm Hispanic; I eat this food everyday during holiday. I'll help you with the salsa—they aren't all spicy, you know. You can try the mild, I ate that when I was a baby and couldn't handle anything stronger. And I already offered to sit by you so you won't get stuck in a bad-seating arrangement, okay? C'mon…"

He stood up and gestured for Draco to follow, who, unwillingly, did. When the two seventeen year olds reached the Great Hall, Blaise persuaded Draco to get a small cheese quesadilla and a basket of chips.

"So…where's the mild salsa?" Draco asked as he reached the table and placed his meal in an empty spot.

"Follow me," Blaise replied, leading him up to the salsa bar, where nothing was labeled, so Draco had to trust Blaise and his salsa-knowledge. The dark Slytherin took a salsa cup and filled it with one of the flavors. "This one is mild," he said, handing it to Draco as they headed back to their seats.

The pale blonde nodded and picked up a chip to dip it into the salsa. After tasting it, his face grew red and his eyes began to water. He shrieked loudly. "Ow—ow—OW! Hot, hot, hot! Ahh! Help!"

He grabbed up his goblet and drained it of his iced tea. After refilling his goblet three times, the fiery sensation had finally left his mouth, but Draco had to drink so much tea to get to this that it also left him feeling sick. Beside him, Blaise Zabini was looking half-amused and half-embarrassed.

"Ooh!" Draco moaned, "I drank too much—this is why I hate Mexican."

He let his head drop facedown on the table, but he quickly sat back up. "Hey!" he pointed a shaking finger at Blaise. "That was **SO** not mild salsa!"

Blaise looked outraged. "What? Of course it was! Why would I make you try the hottest salsa? You just told me up in the common room you hated spicy food, and I'm your friend, so of course I didn't give you anything more than the mildest salsa here!" he said as Draco shook his head.

"You try this, Blaise, it's not mild!" he cried, but the other boy shook his head immediately.

"Uh-uh! No way! After your loser reaction? Sorry!"

"Loser reaction?" Draco screamed, not believing his ears.

Blaise nodded, but then shook his head. "You're right. Loser is an understatement. What do you think about dork? Lam-o? No—that's not good enough—I mean, you were really embarrassing, dude--"

"Yeah, because this is really spicy! It's not mild—try it--"

"No--"

"Why not try it? You won't look like I did! You're used to spicy salsa--"

"Still not trying it--"

"Wimp!"

"So? It's just mild, I've tried it before, and I'm not hungry right now. Remember? I have my own salsa anyway!" He held up a small container with a different spice.

Draco grabbed it out of his hand, and tried it to find that it was at least ten times milder than what he'd had.

" Aha! I've caught you in the act, Zabini! I didn't need to drink anything! This is mild!" He said.

" Nuh- uh! Yours is mild, this--" he grabbed back the container Draco had stolen, " This is the spicy one! Your taste buds are retarded and warped!"

" What! Blaise—I am starting to become _really annoyed_ with you! Just admit

that you swapped our salsas when you filled them up at the salsa bar earlier, accident or not!"

Blaise laughed as if Draco were telling him that Harry Potter became a Death Eater.

" Draco—dude—I swear that you have the mild one! I'd even go so far as to make the Unbreakable Vow—still think I'm a lyer now?

"Yes!" snapped the blonde, " I'm not stupid, but obviously you are, since you're unaware of the fact that the Unbreakable Vow is not used for dumb stuff like this!"

" I'm not stupid!" Blaise defended himself.

" Okay, yeah, you may be all smart when it comes to Mexican traditions and Potions, but lets face it—you can't tell the difference between spells, and you don't even know about the Unbreakable Vow—and that stuff is more important!"

Blaise shot Draco a mocking look, but stopped when it became apparent that the nauseas- feeling had returned to Draco's body.

" Ohh.." he moaned again, " I can't believe I drank so much! Not only have I disgraced my name, but also I feel…" he trailed off as he gagged.

Blaise smirked at Draco's pain, shaking his head at what an incredible _baby_ the boy was.

" It's not even my fault I tried that salsa!" Draco whined as soon as the gagging ceased.

Blaise's mouth dropped.

"_What_? How in the world could this most certainly _NOT _be your fault?" he cried.

" Because you're the one who dragged me down here and--" he stopped and gagged another moment, " Made me try that stupid hot salsa"

" _Mild _salsa!" Blaise corrected him, " _Mild_ salsa! And I didn't drag you down here. I offered, and you didn't decline. If you wanted to stay behind, you would have been more than welcome to, mate! I wish you would've now, if I'd known all of this was gonna happen. It's not my fault you can't handle a few tomatoes with mild spices that most babies can eat!"

" oh, whatever!" Draco rolled his eyes and sighed.

He would've said more, but his stomach churned again, and this time there was no holding it down. He jumped up and bolted to the nearest bathroom to empty his stomach of all the tea.

Following his leave, Blaise Zabini let a sly smile creep across his face, sitting back with his hands behind his head, fully satisfied.

" Ah. It's good to be a Slytherin….."

* * *

A/N: Well, that's all of it. Yep. And yes, I'm quite aware that it is not my best work. It's kinda stupid… but then again, it's not meant to be serious. Yeah… oh, well… read and review anyway 


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